A City In China

It was November 21, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I arrived for my job delivering pizza at 11:00 AM. Day time orders are usually pretty dismal, but today was different, several orders right off the bat. In fact, while delivering my first few orders an ABC News item on the radio reported that the day before Thanksgiving is usually the busiest for pizzerias citing Domino's specifically saying they planned to deliver billions (duh.)

Of course a surge in business means taking orders from people who are not regular customers and it was evident to me straight away that many of my customers fell into that category. My tips were dismal. The folks who order pizza regularly either expect or at least accept that tipping someone for doing work they otherwise would do themselves is customary. It seems there are still folks out there that don't share that view, or would rather not accept it.

So on the busiest delivery day of the year, I drove almost three times the miles of any shift I've worked in my four months but made only about as much as on a typical Saturday Night. What about the delivery charge you say? Well, I get about nine cents of that $1.50 delivery charge you pay. Without a tip, I'm only making minimum wage which doesn't go far at $2.90 per gallon. So I implore you, please tip your drivers. If you feel you can't afford the extra couple bucks, may I respectfully suggest you consider picking the pizza up at the restaurant.

How much gratuity is reasonable you ask? Allow me to share my personal guide for acceptable pizza delivery tips:

1. 15-20% of the order total should be considered the minimum.
2. Add an extra 2-5% for each mile you live from the pizzeria.
3. Consider adding an extra 2-5% for an unusual delivery
   (Large orders necessitating a solo run, delivery to a station other than the front door, etc.)
4. Remember that the driver has little control over when orders leave, pizza quality or accuracy of the order. Negotiating price is never an option, call the store with concerns.
   
5. If you leave money for the kids, or encourage them to handle the exchange at the door, please ensure they know how much gratuity you intended to share.

The great thing about this job is that most people are grateful to have someone who can swoop in and save the day or make a regular meal a special occasion. It's heart warming, as a father, to be so anxiously anticipated by the kids and gratifying to see people enjoy a product I helped create. Thanks for helping me pay for the opportunity to lean to fly and to take care of my little family. Call me next time you want a pizza.

Would you like more insights into the life of a delivery driver? Wondering what the standard gratuity is for other professions? I recommend these sites:

• TipThePizzaGuy.com
• Tip20.com
  
• Discussing the art of tipping on NPR. (Hey, your taxes are paying for it, might as well get something from it.)
  

Aww! I just got comfortable.

Why does it seem like change comes just when you get comfortable? Those who know me best know that I really enjoy talk radio. Hannity, Ingraham, Larson and Limbaugh can help me relax as much as any comfort food. In the past year I've become a fan of KSL's Nightside Project. I started with a hearty dislike for the offbeat young adult oriented news and talk show which had bumped Lars Larson whom I had become, well, comfortable with. After a couple months I started to become enamored with the new program and particularly with the show's host Michael Castner.

I didn't always love everything he said, but I loved the way he said it. He has an on air personality to rival Larry King and Rush Limbaugh at once. He is the only guest host that I have ever thought I might some day enjoy seeing take over for Doug Wright (KSL's popular local day-time host.) Soon The Nightside Project was the #1 rated program in the time slot and I felt the recognition was well deserved. After starting a late job driving pizza I found myself getting comfortable again with the radio.

Given the history you'd think I'd have been concerned when my favorite host wasn't on the air this past week. I guess ignorance is bliss but it doesn't soften the blow when the truth comes out. It turns out that KSL has released the host based on monitary concerns. However, considering the early November ratings bonanza for KSL and the show (again placing the program at #1) I'm left stunned as Castner appears to be:

“I don’t know how they make these decisions,” says Castner. “I’m just the meat in the seat. But the math doesn’t add up as far as budgets go. We’re in the middle of a ratings book. We’re the No. 1 show in [the 7 p.m. to midnight] time slot in this market. I don’t know what you say to someone—‘Sorry, next time we’ll try to be No. 2 or 3?’”
- From a Holly Mullen article on Michaelcastner.com

Turns out that Castner was the magic in the program, the glitter glue that help the program together. Listening to the show with Ethan Millard (whom I've come to respect recently) as host is ok, but the edgy, fun, vibe that previously had my finger on the KSL preset is nowhere to be found. The familiar segments seem lackluster with perhaps the exception of the Nightside Edition. This high point seems to be moot considering a report on RSLFM that KSL already intends to cancel the program in early 2008.

Michael if you're listening (though I can't imagine why you would be) I hope you stick around Utah so I can hear your next show on the radio while I deliver my pizzas. If Rod Arquette, Bruce Reese or any of the other directors and execs at KSL and Bonneville are listening (which I find an even more remote possibility) I hope this decision brings you the result you were hoping for because right now I'm not sure if KSL is going to stay my first choice after Hannity signs off at 4PM.

I Shall Return

Like MacArthur trodding upon a Philippine beach I have returned to the grand city of Chicago as I vowed to do only seven months ago. This time I got to take my munchkin - the first time we've tackled a metropolis together. We took the train into town, rode the "El" around the loop and took our first subway ride on the red line back up to the Water Tower district. Each experience was met with wide eyed excitement. It was somewhat harrowing for mom and dad to keep the little one from falling off a subway platform or walking into the street as she strained to see the tops of buildings but the experience was worth every effort.

Dad got to have his fun too. I took the family to the top of Hancock tower (as I've wanted to do since my first trip) and though some questioned why I wasn't going to the top of the Sears Tower, for me the experience at the top of the John Hancock tower was sublime. For me, the photographer and engineering enthusiast, the Hancock Tower had the greatest payoff for the money. If you really want to see Chicago, you need to do it from the outside looking in. The view from 100 stories above Michigan Avenue was very much like flying around the downtown skyline. We had good timing too as the photos at twilight gave an awesome aura of blue hue to the cloud covered sky while emphasizing the lights of bustling city.

We finished off the night with dinner downstairs at the Cheesecake Factory. Sadly, mom had to do work the next day so we hopped back on the train with mommies coworkers (AKA, Emma's Friends) and took the trip back to the hotel. Emma invited everyone to her hotel room (pronounced Ho-Tale) for a party. She was devastated to learn she was going to bed without said party. In fact the next day, she didn't even want to got the airport and fly on an airplane. She wanted to stay in "da-costco to see buildings." So we all have a bit of a bug for the Windy City and the Miracle Mile. Must be contagious.